I have not slept.
The power went out at Whittier college.
Sash and I talked on the phone. It was lovely.
We both haven't talked to each other in some time, and we both haven't dreamt about each other in a while either.  Turns out when I dream about her, she goes and has sex with me in her dream 3,000 miles away.
Fuckin' great.
She said she's going to try and she's acutally going to write a song today and play it for me.
I hope she does, since I'm going to pump out fucking papers.
argh damn me for being so sick.
(migraine for the past 5 days) words can't even describe the anguish, but I am certainly talking to sash more often.
I bought a flickr account, finally, yay!

Well I had a very eventful Sunday.  It was spent trying not to kill myself to just get away from the pain.
I went to see Watchmen last night with a pint of Mr. Daniels, and I don't remember anything past half of the movie.  Apparently I locked myself out of my room, so my lovely Fairy godmother, Nick, went to Aundria's room, picked her up and brought her to Harris B so she could unlock the door for me.  Sweet lovely people.  I do believe I got alcohol poisoning because it's 12:30 am, and I still have a headache.  It's been more than 24 hours! Oy Vei!

I've been feeling pretty stuck lately.  I woke up throughout the day and wallowed in my lethargy that was brought by that damn man, Jack.  I woke up at about 8 am to vomit about a bucket sized worth of puke, I was still drunk and couldn't really get up on my bed.  I'd say it's about 3.75 feet tall.  On Saturday, I can't remember what I ate.  I had stayed up all of Friday night, consumed 50 mg of Amphetamine so I could finish my Anth paper by 9 am, ending up finishing at 11 and wasn't satisfied after reading 100 pages of Stephen J. Bad then writing a four page paper on how Hereditarians have used quantification for science and how science is culturally embedded.  Four pages, that was tough as balls.  So for fuel, I didn't even have dinner that night, I'm very very much over anything made by the school I attend.  And I don't have a car boohoo :(  I ate tangerines, oranges and 1 banana to keep me from nodding off into a slumber of scary amphetamine dreams.  It was clear that I was very sleep deprived at the beginning of this weekend.  My eyes looked as if I really had been a pirate that sailed the high seas for the last 4 years, eating bad salted meat when after I had been a vegan for a long time.  I didn't eat that much, because eating meat repulses me.
Well, I didn't eat anything all day, I vomited that nastiness at 8 am, drank the rest of the water that my godmother Nick put in my water bottle, after I drank the whole pint of whiskey during the movie that I put in that bottle.  Then I went to sleep on and off until about 8 pm.  My throat had the worst feeling I've ever felt in it for about 2 hours, and I was left on my bed writhing around complaining and moaning like a nymph about the pain that wouldn't subside.  I figured it was all the fucking citrus and whiskey in my blood.  Not good to have for three days. OF not really eating. I finally gurgled salt water and my throat felt slightly better.  I smoked some lovely greens and really regretted not cleaning out the res from the last bowl, because that tasted like shit, CLEAN YOUR BOWLS PEOPLE! and that made me feel slightly better.  I asked many people if they could take me to get some food, but the only easy option to go to without makeing friends wait around in the car while I shopped for chips and salsa in a grocery store was Del Taco.  That didn't even happen, because I got Gilberto to take me to Ralphs where I did get chips, salsa and guac, which was great because I had just put some Jasmine rice that I was incredibly grateful for on the cooker.  So I gained a little bit more energy.

I ate that scrumptous meal as I watched the pilot of the L-Word.  I know a lot about that show, although I haven't "watched" it like I've watch Seinfeld.  I became pretty depressed yet super turned on.  What was a single loser lesbian doing watching this shit?  I know I can definitely be a Shane and a Marina, I just need to get over the virgin bump.  I can't just love anyone though, so finding that girl is going to be hard, but possible.  I can find lots of sexy people.  I got lots of sexy guys, and I didn't keep any because duhh: I'm gay.  I'm nearly 20 and I have yet to get a girl that wasn't whimsically sexy but only fun for a short while. b oo h oo

My cheeks are still red, my lips very red, my scars, dark purple, my nipples, very pink, and my tongue tells me that I haven't smoked a lot of cigarettes in the last few days, yay.
I got my sweet leather cigarette holder on Thursday or Friday, and since I've put my ciggies in there, they actaully seem like they are worth $6. fuckin 70 from 7/11.  I'm smoking less, because who really wants to kiss a SMOKER?  I don't. 

It's really lame that it is 1 am.  I have class in 8 hours.  The day pretty much just got interesting, I'm finally able to pour my heart out on this.  It's curious that I chose the public zanga rather than the private blogspot.  Maybe I've been feeling too private, which explains my sexual frustration with being lonely.

I haven't done anything with another person since Sash, and she left like January 15, and that was just some small kisses, small caresses in bed.  She wouldn't have sex with me.  Since then, I declared celibacy until she deflowers me, but I don't think that will happen if I get to Boston this summer.  Sash is going to Scotland most likely around the time or probably the day after I make it to boston in May.  She'll come back ....god, I don't even want to see her in love with Scotland, this is going to be hard.  I really need to not be celibate or I'll certainly give myself depression waiting for that girl.  She's ....ugh.

My nose has been giving me worry.  I will show thee with a picture story about my septum.  It was pierced by Danyel, twice in the same 10 minutes, the first time resulting in a very awkwardly placed metal staple.  I stuck out the second time around with hope of that shit getting straight, and I hardly felt a thing.  But the resulting next two weeks were hard because of the double pierced place on my left side.  I got it pierced with a 12 g needle, and I was exactly told I needed to keep that staple up in my nose so my nose will heal without much movement, so there was movement. Lots.
Here is me in the beginning.  I really wanted this jacket.

Now if you've never had your septum pierced, that pain is incredibly interesting coming out of a place that is nonexistant in death, after decomposition, of course.  Pain shoots all through the body, because dried up nose funk attaches to the small hairs of the nose and when the crust is loosened, the hairs get pulled and goddam, OUCH. With my nose still crusting, and it being close to three months later, this shit sucks.  I also have a pretty big nasal cavity for crust to dry up in, so I use about 50 q-tips a day cleaning that shit. I sea salt it pretty much everyday, I moisturize with vitamine E.  I have had some pretty silly things in there also. Worst thing about the septum is that the dead skin and nose crust smells, sometimes interesting, sometimes terrible, all depending on how much alcohol I've been comsuming as well as cleansing of the nose. 
I've read stories of people getting hundreds of eggs hatched in their nasal cavities, a fly is attracted to disgusting smelling nose odors and lands in there for a secnd to lay hundreds of eggs.  Within a few days, the human's face swells up, hurts and eventually there is doctor care with tongs and vacuums.  I am not looking for that shit, no way.
(ok i'm pretty pissed that photobucket thinks pictures of fucking vaginas violate terms wtf)
This is going to take a while, so I don't know how much I'll document my septum tonight, it's at 2g right now, and I've probably had 12g, 10g (when I went to the temple), 8g (when I got back from the temple), 6g, 4g, and 2g.  I have a yellow plug in here right now, yes the lovely yellow plug from the pair I bought when I was probably 14 from that cool rock store that was better than Hot Topic in Stonewood Mall, before there was a lame ass Hot Topic there.
This is from the night that changed my life forever, Dec 31, 2008, just ten days after I get it pierced, still the same staple.

I probably don't have pictures of 10g or 8g, because there are mysteriously no pictures of the 6 days that Sasha was here.
This, I'm guessing is at 6g, and the date is wrong, this was taken on Jan15, I do believe, or the day Sash flew away.

I'm not sure of this guage, but the date is probably correct, it might be 6g or 4, I'm not sure, just saying, my septum stretched so quickly and I got sick blowouts.

I'm becoming the hippie goddess mother superior now, Sash is gone, and I don't care about how pretty makeup makes people, especially me, so I'm back to coloring my eyebrows, and I wanted this tattoo on my lip this day, I don't anymore. My lips are fine.
Ooh shit, this is big, sorry if my face scares you, it scares me.
This photo has to be 4g, because I don't think I have a 2g black septum.

Here is possibly a white 4g, back when my hair was pretty pristine.  It looks nothing like this anymore.  It's dark and dready looking.

Then I don't want to BUY a 2g, so I break a bracelet with spirals, stupidly, and melt the sides, scrape the sharp edges off and I have a fantastic green moustache for a day until it hurt way too much.

Then I actually get a septum that fits my nose, at 2g, and I've had this size for nearly a month, I don't want to keep stretching it without it healing bc then it will never heal and the scar tissue will be as bad as my ear lobes. Poor things.  So this is the latest picture I have.

(I love these Winston glases of mine.)
So far, I've put a makeup brush in there, because it was wood, and I was really hating the plastic in my flesh, and that was awkward.  Just for giggles.  So I bought a real wooden septum for Thailand, along with some fuckng amazing huge pinchers for my ears made of coconut wood.  The septum (bloodwood) was beautiful, and felt better for the first couple of hours until the crust in my nose, or the salt in the soaks dilapadated the wood to it's normal texture, thus becoming rough, and hurting my nose.  So I had to put the acryllic back in.  I couldn't take how the pincher was moving around so much from the cold wet environment, so I put the yellow plug in, because the creepy hole is finally big enough.  I forgot what I looked like without something on my face, and my nose is definitely lower where the septum is, but it's fun, I just need to get over this fucking smell and watch out for flies.  Maybe then I'll get a girl.
pfft. it's 2 am, I've been typing for a while, and Regina Spektor on my Cat Power pandora station isn't working out. She should give up her musical career because she can't write, meet me, sleep with me a few hundred times and then go back to writing.  I'll certainly convert her to Brihtzism.OMg and now Mirah is on.  What, is Cat Power some gay indie station?  God, I wish Chan Marshall and Regina Spektor were in my bed.  Not Mirah.  Her voice is nice, just not husky enough.  Eh, I guess this is my calling to make my voice even more husky, smoke a nice fat bowl and a sweet ciggie, then shower and shave, and THEN twist up my dreads.
I haven't washed my hair in about 5 days, it's not bad. But the smell is.  This dreads are really coming about.
Hell Yes, Winston OConnell.  And I'm still a virgin :)

nighty-o. fucking Azure Ray is now playing.  Everything is so GAY.